Thursday, July 24, 2008

Dude, Chicks Fighting!




Before everyone jumps on to say that this is a black mark on the sport and it's so ugly to see this, I say GIVE ME MORE! I think the WNBA should use this by putting the next Detroit-LA game on national TV, bill it as "Round 2" and make it explicitly clear to the players that they should fight again.

Ok, that was a little silly. But the WNBA is so utterly boring, they've got to do something so people will want to watch. Bottom line: add a little WWE/MMA to the mix.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

USC-OSU: The Dilemma of the Michigan Fan

On September 13, 2008 the University of Southern California Condoms will face off against the Ohio State University $uckeyes in LA. The game is being hyped as the launching pad for either team's prospective national title run, and (more importantly) puts Michigan fans in a tough spot choosing who to root for.

Already, former USC Heisman Trophy winner (and current Cincinatti Bengals QB) Carson Palmer has weighed in:

"I cannot stand the Buckeyes," Palmer said. "And having to live in Ohio and hear those people talk about their team, it drives me absolutely nuts. ...

"It's amazing to hear what those guys think about that university and what they think about that football program and Tressel and all the crap I gotta put up with being back there.

"I just can't wait for two years from now, when SC comes to the 'Shoe ... and I can go out there and watch us pound them on their own turf and put all the talk to rest, because I'm really getting sick of it.

"I just can't wait for this game to get here so they can come out to the Coliseum and experience L.A. and get a good old-fashioned Pac-10 butt-whuppin' and go back to the Big Ten."

I was in love with Carson until that last sentence. The Buckeye bashing was worthy of a special services to Michigan award until he went elitist on us. He is aghast at the Buckeye fans for their arrogance, and yet makes an unbiased claim that essentially the Pac 10 is better than the Big Ten. Ho hum, just another kick in the face for the conference.

And it leaves all of us Blue fans in a difficult spot: do we root for the team that has beat us in the Rose Bowl and has the elitist feel of the SEC? Or do we............gosh I can't even bring myself to say it..........root......f..or......the.....do I have to say it? No, I won't.

Big Ten pride is on the line. Haters like Dennis Dodd and Gary Danielson are licking their chops at the chance to jump all over the Big Ten and declare it a mid-major conference. I also work with and know some USC grads/students whom I would like nothing better than to give a huge L to, courtesy of the slow, outdated Big Ten conference. USC has been good for a very long time, winning national titles and being the unofficial behemoth in recruiting since 2000. It's time to avenge the Rose Bowl losses by Michigan and Illinois, and I'm sorry to say that as much as I'm going to hate it...I will be...secretly...quietly...rooting...for the...well, you know.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Soria-NO.

I am not a Cubs fan. I'll say that outright. Living an entire year right next to Wrigley Field and dealing on a daily basis with Cubs fans (aka drunks) was enough to turn me against the Chicago Chokes. But all that said-the Cubs are my pick to win the World Series this year. They have the most consistent hitting, they have solid starters and bullpen guys, and, maybe most importantly, they have the deepest roster in baseball with guys like Reed Johnson and even Ronny Cedeno really stepping up this year. So why on earth are they still shelling $14 million on this guy-



Ah yes, Alfonso Soriano, seen here in an image that captures him doing what it is he does best, injure himself. In fact, in his entire MLB career, Soriano has NEVER played more than 159 games in one season, which he did in 2006 with the lowly Nationals. So far this year, he has only played 51 games for the Cubs, and while he's hit 15 home runs and had 40 RBIs in those games, the fact is, the Cubs do not need him.

Think about it this way. You work in a law firm hiring paralegals. Someone applies to your firm, and tell you they want to work for you, but will only be there 8 out of the 12 months every year. Would you hire this person? No! Of course not! Because you want someone who will be there to work for you year round. It's the same with Soriano. He comes with everything short of a written gaurantee saying "I will get injured, I will cost too much, and I certainly will not play the whole season."

The Cubs are an all around deep enough team that is built to win now, and with the recent addition of Rich Harden to their starting rotation, they have cemented themselves as a playoff contender. The last thing they need to be doing is shelling out money on a brittle, streaky hitter who is selfish and has proven that he is an all around bad presence in the clubhouse.

With the trade deadline approaching, I hope the Cubs put Soriano out there on the block. He's a huge name-they can get great value for him and give their budget some breathing room. But then, if they don't, I don't really care anyway. After all, I'm not a Cubs fan.

--Shylock

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Maize Blaze

The University of Michigan Football Team will win 10 games this year. Yes, you read that right.

The University of Michigan Football Team will win 10 games this year.

All of you haters, apologists and self proclaimed realists better recognize -- this is Michigan. I know that the statement above is going to be controversial, but I simply don't understand why. Michigan is the most consistent, elite program in the country. Nobody owns a longer bowl streak record, and in my very (un)biased opinion, I don't see how that streak could be broken.

Long before I roamed the campus in Ann Arbor, I used to attend the games as a high school student. From the very first day I saw a game until the Ohio State loss last year, I had been screaming for a more innovative offense, dynamic quarterbacks (see Germaine Gonzalez over John Navarre) and a better strength and conditioning program -- all of which centered around speed. Now I say the Ohio State loss above because the Florida win in the Capital One Bowl was an example of what Michigan could've/should've/would've been if the change in philosophy had happened sooner. What you saw on January 1st, 2008 was Michigan running the spread offense. Looked pretty good, huh?

But that was then, this is now. We have lost a ton of talent to the NFL Draft, and have largely unproven talent on the offensive side of the ball. But on the other hand, we have an accomplished Spread-N-Shred coach with an innovative mind, not to mention the best strength and conditioning coach on the planet, Mr. Mike Barwis. Read an awesome interview here. We also have real speed in the backfield in Sam McGuffie and some under appreciated talent on defense. None of our QB's are spectacular, but lets assume that Threet, Feagin or Sheridan will be serviceable.

All they have to do is hand off to McGuffie, Brandon Minor or Carlos Brown and throw little passes to our super speedsters in Greg Mathews, Roy Roundtree, Martavious Odoms and Michael Shaw. Make no mistake, Michigan is going to be good this year.

If you still don't believe me, here's the schedule. Remember, Michigan plays 12 regular season games and one bowl game, so is it that unrealistic for them to win 10 and lose 3? Post your predictions in the comments.

August 30*

Utah






September 6*

Miami (Ohio)






September 13*

at Notre Dame






September 27

Wisconsin






October 4

Illinois






October 11

Toledo






October 18

at Penn State






October 25

Michigan State






November 1

at Purdue






November 8

at Minnesota






November 15

Northwestern






November 22

at Ohio State






Saturday, July 12, 2008

He shoots into the secondary...literally...

I don't know about you, but when I read about off season college football news (which I do way too often), I like to hear about things like who's transferring, who's improving, or sleeper BCS picks. So I was pretty ticked off when I went on ESPN.com's college football section and found these stories greeting me.

Michigan RB pleads not guilty to drunken driving
Ohio St.'s Clifford charged with punching 2 in bar
San Jose State LB sentenced to 45 days in jail
Tennessee punter pleads guilty to drunken driving
Indiana reinstates QB Lewis after suspension
Florida State's Bellamy (blood clot) out for season
Louisville WR Spillman dismissed from team

Now, all my sympathies to to Mr. Bellamy, and congrats to Lewis for his reinstatement, but that being said, this is ridiculous! Athletes at the top universities in our nation (Ohio State excluded, obviously) are getting free rides to go to school and are still pulling this kind of junk. It makes me sick. There are hundreds to people who would give anything to play a single down in a college game, and these kids, who get to do it every season, would rather drive drunk and attack people. The NCAA should have a zero tolerance policy for this kind of bull. The fact that five out of seven top stories have NOTHING to do with football, and everything to do with lack of discipline is just sad. And then we wonder why pro athletes get in this kind of trouble-because this stuff has been tolerated for their entire althetic career. It's just something that happens all the time.



I rest my case.

--Shylock

Friday, July 11, 2008

Hang It Up, Favre

Sorry for the long delay between posts, both Shylock and I met up in good old Ann Arbor for an epic reunion/vacation - there was some vomiting going on, and that's when you know you're having a good time.

Unfortunately that can't last forever, otherwise we'd all suffer from:


And so we're back, today riffing on the i'm-retired-no-wait-i'm-back-ok-i'm-retired-no i'm-100%-in-this-now, soon to be free agent QB, formerly known as the amazing Brett Favre. Apparently, Brett really wants to come back, and without the Packers no less!

I see both sides of the fence here, and thus will argue with myself about this:

Todd Packer: You have the guy who put the Packers on the map and has performed exceptionally well over the course of his entire career, including last year! Surely the Packers should make room if he wants to come back! You're going to pass up a Hall of Famer for an unknown? Where is Aaron Rodgers? Sniffing some dude's thong? Probably...

Packers GM Ted Thompson: Brett Favre, Schmett Favre. This guy does this to us EVERY YEAR, and ya know what? I'm tired of it. He flip flops more than a politician in an election year (really funny, right?). Rodgers is a young talent who's going to surprise a lot of people. Since Brett left us (again), we've moved on and believe Aaron is going to give us the best chance of winning now and in the future.

Todd Packer: Pac-Man need a drinkie -- with Brett! Favre. Tall. Strong. Handsome as ever. Hey, everyone it's me, Brett:



Kennedy back now, and as much as I love Todd, I think the GM is right here. Brett goes out crying every year and somehow comes back as if nothing ever happened. Sure he's good enough, and he's done so much for the Packers, but at some point the organization needs to move on. That being said, I look forward to Brett giving it another run, and hopefully with this team:

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

"That's Just Manny Being One Step Above a Common Animal"

Boston slugger Manny Ramirez is such a prankster! According to The Providence Journal, after he was told by team traveling secretary Jack McCormick that McCormick would not be able to get him the 16 free tickets he wanted for Monday night's game, he responded like any jokester would-by shoving McCormick on the ground. What a ham!


Gotcha!


Seriously, you have got to be kidding me. This story hits particularly close to home for me, as a box office worker myself. This kind of stuff is just reprehensible. How much longer can everybody just sit back and say "oh, it's just Manny being Manny, you know, throwing guys half his size to the ground when they tell him something he doesn't want to hear." And the Red Sox have taken next to no disciplinary action, afraid to punish their star hitter before a big series with the Rays. In other words, for doing something that's grounds for dismissal for a McDonald's employee, Manny will take no punishment.

Manager Terry Francona said the matter was handled internally. "This is something that actually happened between friends, and it was handled." (SI.com) Yeah. I frequently push my buddies to the ground when they don't tell me what I want to hear.

When do you stop saying, "Manny being Manny," and start saying, "Manny needing serious psychiatric help?" But I guess the Red Sox don't have much choice-they're in the middle of a series with the first place Rays, and Manny's proven he can be valuable in a fight, especially against a smaller opponent.

--Shylock